Should Babies Sleep With a Night Light
Question: Should babies sleep with a night light
Answer: No
Long Answer! - Toddlers may want to sleep with a night light but babies under the age of two years do not need a night light.
Babies are not scared of the dark.
Babies love the dark.
Darkness encourages the body to release the sleep hormone, melatonin.
Darkness is one of the most important parts of the ideal wind down routine.
It actually goes the opposite way with babies - they need the dark so much that even a shard of light can disturb their sleep.
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In order to create 12 hours of sleep for your baby at night and 2 - 3 hours during the day, total darkness is an absolute necessity.
Excellent sleep will not happen without darkness.
Babies are not scared of the dark - it is a myth
Being scared of the dark isn’t a fear babies are born with.
It is a concept, which is developed later in life.
Babies are born with only a few ideas - they believe they’re the same entity as their mother (adorable, right?!), they find the darkness and sound of the womb soothing (which is why white noise appears to work) and they learn the skill of sucking their thumb before they’re born.
When your child was born - no one told them anything bad about darkness. They had no reason to be scared.
If your toddler becomes scared of the dark
This can happen to children past the age of two years old. Look back at every book, TV programme, film, play or even song that has mentioned darkness in the past two years.
You will most probably find out where your toddler’s fear of darkness has come from.
Darkness is often portrayed negatively. For example - a dark, scary wood.
Children are exposed to these negative concepts from books and tv programmes and over time will probably become scared of the dark. This is why as parents we often wonder whether babies should sleep with a night light
How do you cope when your toddler becomes scared of the dark?
Accept your toddlers fear
Let them know that is is a legitimate concern and that other people can be scared too. Perhaps you were scared of the dark when you were little. This will reassure them that they are not alone
Talk to your toddler about darkness being a nice thing - peaceful, safe, a way to relax and feel happy
Respect their fear and show you are listening and responding actively by keeping their door ajar
And consider buying a night light to see if this helps comfort your toddler
Sure, a night light will disturb the perfect darkness of your toddler’s room but as they get to three or four years of age some elements of the ideal wind down routine will change anyway.
It’s natural for there to be a few compromises and changes to the night time routine as your toddler gets older and develops ideas of their own.
There’s nothing wrong with a little compromise.
Click here to find out how your sleep routine will grow with your baby as they become a toddler and what changes you can make without negatively affecting sleep.
In terms of night lights, I prefer soft squidgy lights like the ones detailed below.
They’re fun, look amazing in the nursery and are nice and dimmed so they’re perfect for breastfeeding in the early months when you don’t want to disturb your baby.
NOTE: You’ll have to put your new night light up somewhere high because your toddler will want to play with it! They look so fun and cute. Both of my daughters used to spend forever trying to get the little light out of the squidgy bit. So much so, that it even became part of their wind down routine!
Top 4 Night Lights - should babies sleep with a night light
Natural night light
If you prefer natural products it can be trickier to find a natural night light, which is dim enough.
However, this light from Abigal Ahern is the perfect find. While it’s brighter than the squidgy ones above, it’s perfect for bedtime reading. It’s a beautiful addition to the nursery as it’s such a sweet small size and has a paper-mâché like texture.
It’s made from iron and paper rope so you can rest assured they’ll be no off-gassing!
Darkness is good
It’s important to read lots of books to your children and to experience lots of different things along the way. However, once you become aware of the power of language you may come across negative messaging about darkness, which makes no sense.
Feel free to filter those negative words!
Like who created the whole dark scary wood theme?!
Darkness doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
Toddlers wouldn’t even know they’re supposed to be scared of the dark if no one told them. It is not naturally seen as bad. It’s only stories and TV which make darkness into a scary thing.
That’s why babies aren’t scared of the dark. No one has told them to be yet!
We don’t want our children to be scared of forests or natural places of darkness.
Forests are an important and amazing part of life. They hold amazing eco systems and there is so much to learn within them. They’re peaceful and can even bring great comfort as your child connects with nature and enjoys their surroundings.
Darkness is the ideal counterbalance to overstimulation, bright lights, TV or noisy toys.
Silence and darkness can be an essential part of positive mental health. We all need space and peace to process, to rest and to allow the brain to think.
And so, if your toddler does let you know that they’re scared of the dark, think back to what books have been in their life so far and what negative messaging they may have come across about darkness.
Validate their feelings and let them know that this it is common to be scared of the dark but it is also important to let your child know that darkness can be really wonderful and doesn’t need to be scary.
I used to tell my daughters that darkness is like a duvet - it’s soft and comforting.
Darkness is a big gorgeous blanket there to cuddle you up and make you feel safe and secure.
It doesn’t have to be a bad thing with scary shadows and monsters.
Language is powerful. At this early age you’re lucky enough to have a choice when it comes to exactly what you introduce to your children.
You do not need to allow negative messages about darkness or anything else into their lives.
For example, I’ve noticed books about children not liking bedtime or not wanting to go to sleep actually affects the ease of my own bedtime routine with my children. They start acting like the characters in the book - doing somersaults at bedtime or saying they’re not tired. When before they went to sleep straight away!
After a few days of reading books about bedtime being something a child doesn’t like, there is a noticeable difference in my own children and how they relate to bedtime.
Try, as an experiment, only reading books about bedtime being lovely and fun and see if you witness a positive change in your children.
What if my baby seems to be scared of the dark?
Even though babies cannot be scared of the dark, sometimes all signs will point to them INDEED being scared of the dark.
If this is the case for you and you’re feeling confused, read on to find out what could be the problem.
Signs that appear as if your baby is scared of the dark:
Crying when you leave the room
Refusing to sleep
Crying as soon as you enter a darkened room ready for bed or nap time
Why babies are not scared of the dark
A child younger than three years of age is unlikely to be scared of the dark. Under two years and the chances are pretty much 0%!
If your baby is crying when you leave the room and they are aged 6 months or older, they may be experiencing separation anxiety. Try my baby sleep course to find out exactly what to do when separation anxiety comes along. You’ll learn practical solutions and specific ways to preserve your sleep
If your baby refuses to sleep, this is often down to overtiredness. Rather than being scared when your baby enters a darkened room, they feel relieved. However, because it’s their first chance to rest and process their day so far, they may cry. It’s as if they’ve finally realised just how tired they are. They didn’t have the chance to relax or feel tired before because their environment was so stimulating. Click here to find out how to break the cycle of overtiredness
Sometimes your baby might cry as the wind down routine begins and you enter their room together. This is exactly what both my daughters used to do. And I was sure it was because they had worked out what was going on and didn’t want to go to sleep. Who wants to have a nap when they’re having so much fun?! The good thing is, this means your wind down routine is working because the sleep triggers are working. Your baby is recognising each sleep trigger and realising it is time to sleep
Summary - should babies sleep with a night light
So, babies do not need to sleep with a night light. And in fact, shouldn’t sleep with a night light at all for the first two years of their life as this will disturb their sleep.
Babies should have total darkness as this encourages a deep and restorative sleep.
When a toddler reaches the age of three years and older they may become scared of the dark. If this is the case and they would prefer to sleep with a night light, you can suggest one and see if it helps.
I prefer to only have the night light on for a bit though as ultimately it may still disturb your toddler’s sleep.
Assure your toddler that the night light will stay on for a while but when you go to sleep it will go off as everyone sleeps in darkness together.
Stick to your sleep routine as much as you can, while still respecting your toddler’s wishes.
Extended Baby Sleep Course for 12 Hours of Uninterrupted Sleep
If you need more help with sleep click here to read more about the Abundant Baby Extended Sleep Course designed for newborn babies all the way through to five years. Claim your sleep back today and get 12 hours of consecutive sleep at night and 2 - 3 hours during the day.