Baby Keeps Pulling Away While Breastfeeding
What to do when baby keeps pulling away while breastfeeding
There are only a few reasons why your baby is pulling away.
Your baby is either distracted, not feeling well, constipated or experiencing a quick or slow milk flow.
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Breastfeeding is a wonderful, but also a totally new and sometimes challenging, experience.
It’s a beautiful and natural progression from child birth but it can often feel like you’re at your full capacity already and when breastfeeding initially comes with some pain and adjustment it can feel overwhelming.
You need to rest. Breastfeeding for some mamas can feel like the final straw.
However, trust me, it’s worth it.
In time, breastfeeding will become the easiest thing ever. Imagine the situation: you will be able to feed your baby anywhere, you won’t need any kind of equipment or sterilisation, you and your baby will have an amazing latch and position sorted AND you’ll have an amazing bond.
When I first started breastfeeding, I had no idea what to expect (who knew breastfeeding brings intense cramps during the first few days which are almost as bad as childbirth?!)
Over the days and weeks, it got easier. Breastfeeding was a time to relax with my baby, gaze longingly at them and when I got tired of that, watch my favourite TV programme and have a little snack (I’ll admit crumbs were dropped on my baby’s downy head occasionally!)
However, I will always remember the day my normally peaceful baby started pulling away while breastfeeding.
They seemed so unhappy and wouldn’t keep breastfeeding no matter how much I tried to encourage or get my baby in what I thought was a more comfortable position.
Are you doing something wrong?
I was confused and had no idea why my baby kept pulling away while breastfeeding.
I was sure that either my milk wasn’t good or that my baby wasn’t happy.
Perhaps she was ill or maybe she was hungry and my milk suddenly wasn’t enough.
If the same is happening to you and your baby keeps pulling away while breastfeeding:
There are four main reasons why this is happening
Your baby is distracted
Your milk flow is too fast or too slow
Your baby is constipated
Your baby is not feeling well
Your baby is distracted
At around 3 or 4 months your baby becomes aware of what is going on around them.
Before this point, they had tunnel vision. Nothing could distract them! Now, as your baby’s brain goes through their first major development this is a totally different story.
At the age of three or four months old, baby keeps pulling away while breastfeeding and you know they’re not constipated or unwell, distraction could easily be the reason why.
How to help a distracted baby
Try taking your baby to a darkened quiet room to breastfeed.
This can often be a more relaxing setting experience for both mother and baby. No distractions from other people or bright colours from furnishings will help your baby to focus on their milk and not keep pulling away.
Don’t overthink the process.
Let your baby have their moment of looking around and when they realize there’s nothing going on in this room and there’s no distractions, they will start to feed more peacefully.
Your milk flow is too fast or too slow
It’s all too easy to feel pressure from social media and worry that your milk isn’t enough.
So, let’s be clear: milk flow is NOT a constant.
It can be super fast (and we may feel proud!) and it can sometimes be slow (and we may feel worried). But the biggest thing you can do here is to relax. Praise yourself for the amazing job you are doing.
A varied milk flow is normal and does not indicate that you are doing a bad or good job.
A happy breastfeeding journey is a relaxed one so do not criticize your milk flow in any way. Sure, you can observe it and if your milk flow is too fast, then let your baby sort it out themselves.
Try sitting in a more upright posistion to make it easier for your baby.
Slow down, observe and enjoy breastfeeding your baby.
Don’t worry about slow milk flow
It’s like having a slow day.
It’s totally normal.
Drink lots of water, relax as much as you can - name your top five things to do and do one of them while breastfeeding.
This will increase oxytocin which is the feel good hormone which will in turn boost your milk supply naturally without you HAVING to do ANYTHING!
Fit meditating into your day and ensure you’re eating an amazing array of foods that will make you feel great. It’s all about relaxing and being kind to yourself.
Milk flow comes and goes. By treating yourself kindly, you’ll boost your milk supply and feel better as an added bonus!
You have to remember to look after yourself, not just everyone else!
Your baby is constipated
When baby keeps pulling away while breastfeeding this can often be down to the pain they are feeling or the struggles they are having internally while feeding.
Your baby wants your milk but it’s making them feel like they need the toilet and because they are constipated, they pull away in pain.
But they’re hungry, so they go back to the boob and get frustrated and cry!
So would you or I! Their cries make perfect sense now you know what’s wrong.
This is another case of no one doing anything wrong.
Like when meditating and we are told to observe our thoughts and not blame ourselves for having loads of thoughts all the time, it’s the same here.
Observe the process and don’t worry, offer some comforting words and rub your baby’s belly. Encourage them to go to the toilet. Breastfeeding often helps your baby to go to the toilet so don’t avoid it. Get through it together.
My theory is that babies can understand us from the very beginning
Tell them that everything is ok and they’re in a bit of pain but they’ll be fine once they’ve managed to go to the toilet.
Soothe them and keep as comfortable as possible so you’re happy too.
Your baby is not feeling well
If baby keeps pulling away while breastfeeding they may have a blocked nose and be struggling to breathe.
While breastfeeding can help to unblock your baby’s nose and regulate their breathing, it can still be the reason why your baby is pulling away.
Give your baby the space to work it out.
Try natural olbas oil - you can pop a few drops onto a muslin cloth to help your baby breathe.
Don’t doubt yourself or your milk.
Breastfeeding is designed to deal with everything.
The more you trust your amazing body the better!!
It is so easy to doubt or worry about breastfeeding when your baby isn’t feeling well but remember they’ll get through it.
Breastfeeding is boosting your baby’s immune system and giving them a super protection from loads of illnesses.
Aside from childbirth it is the most amazing thing you can do for your baby. So, stick with it and look after yourself in the process!
If you need more help click here to get my free three day email course with guidance on why your baby avoids breastmilk, cries or seems unhappy at the boob.
Conclusion
If your baby keeps pulling away while breastfeeding, you may feel worried or doubt yourself.
Take a deep breath and give yourself an imaginary cuddle.
You’re an amazing mama and doing all the right things. Lots of different obstacles may come up in breastfeeding but the most important thing to know is that breastfeeding is designed to give your baby the very best and work through absolutely everything.
The best thing you can do is observe without judgement, cuddle and kiss and talk to your baby (and yourself!)
So, there’s as much love around you as possible and you’re feeling as relaxed and happy as you can.
Remember colds, constipation or even varied milk flow never last long
Any changes in your norm are just little blips which can be sorted.
In a few days everything will be back to normal.
In terms of a more distracted baby, this is usually a permanent change as it is a result of your baby’s brain developing.
However, a distracted baby is a chance for a new routine and can offer a rest for you too. It can be soothing to switch to breastfeeding in a darkened room. As your baby gets older you will find that you are busier.
Breastfeeding will become a welcome break as you retreat to a more quiet place away from stimulation and distraction.
Whatever the reason behind your baby crying while breastfeeding or pulling away, trust yourself and your baby. You will get through this and you are doing the right thing!
Well done on your breastfeeding journey so far. Stick with it. It get’s easier!
GET YOUR FREE BREASTFEEDING COURSE
If you need more help click below to gain access to my three day free email breastfeeding course which will go over each possible reason and solution in detail so you can achieve a peaceful, pain-free breastfeeding experience for you and your baby.