Baby Keeps Pulling Away While Breastfeeding
What to do when baby keeps pulling away while breastfeeding
There are only a few reasons why your baby is pulling away. Your baby is either distracted, not feeling well, constipated or experiencing a quick or slow milk flow.
Contents
Your baby is distracted
Your baby has a cold
Your baby is constipated
Your milk flow is higher or lower than normal
Breastfeeding is a wonderful, but also totally new and sometimes challenging, experience.
It’s a beautiful and natural progression from child birth but it can often feel like you’re at your full capacity already and when breastfeeding initially comes with some pain and adjustment it can feel overwhelming. You need to rest and breastfeeding for some mamas is like the final straw.
However, trust me, it’s worth it. In time, breastfeeding will become the easiest thing ever. Imagine the situation: you will be able to feed your baby anywhere, you won’t need any kind of equipment or sterilisation, you and your baby will have an amazing latch and position sorted AND you’ll have an amazing bond.
When I first started breastfeeding, I had no idea what to expect (who knew breastfeeding brings intense cramps during the first few days which are almost as bad as childbirth?!)
Over the days and weeks, it got easier. Breastfeeding was a time to relax with my baby, gaze longingly at them and when I got tired of that, watch my favourite TV programme and have a little snack (I’ll admit crumbs were dropped on my baby’s downy head occasionally!)
However, I will always remember the day my normally peaceful baby started pulling away while breastfeeding. They seemed so unhappy and wouldn’t keep breastfeeding no matter how much I tried to encourage or get my baby in what I thought was a more comfortable position.
Are you doing something wrong?
I was confused and had no idea why my baby kept pulling away while breastfeeding. I was sure that either my milk wasn’t good or that my baby wasn’t happy. Perhaps she was ill or maybe she was hungry and my milk suddenly wasn’t enough.
If the same is happening to you and your baby keeps pulling away while breastfeeding there are four main reasons why this is happening:
Your baby is distracted
Your milk flow is too fast or too slow
Your baby is constipated
Your baby is not feeling well
Your baby is distracted
At around 3 or 4 months your baby becomes aware of what is going on around them. Before this point, they had tunnel vision. Nothing could distract them! Now, as your baby’s brain goes through their first major development this is a totally different story.
At the age of three or four months old, baby keeps pulling away while breastfeeding and you know they’re not constipated or unwell, distraction could easily be the reason why.
How to help a distracted baby
Try taking your baby to a darkened quiet room to breastfeed. This can often be a more relaxing setting experience for both mother and baby. No distractions from other people or bright colours from furnishings will help your baby to focus on their milk and not keep pulling away.
Try not to overthink the process. Let your baby have their moment of looking around and when they realize there’s nothing going on in this room and there’s no distractions, they will start to feed more peacefully.
Your milk flow is too fast or too slow
Let’s be careful with this one because I see information about breast milk flow all the time online and it can often feel as if we, as mothers, are criticizing our own milk.
It’s all too easy to feel pressure from social media and worry your milk isn’t enough.
So, let’s be clear: milk flow is not a constant. It can be super fast (and we may feel proud!) and it can sometimes be slow (and we may feel worried). But the biggest thing you can do here is to relax. Praise yourself for the amazing job you are doing. A varied milk flow is normal and does not indicate that you are doing a bad or good job.
Read this beautiful breastfeeding inspirational quotes here and mantras.
A happy breastfeeding journey is a relaxed one so do not criticize your milk flow in any way. Sure, you can observe it and if your milk flow is too fast, then let your baby sort it out themselves. Slow down, observe and enjoy breastfeeding your baby.
Don’t worry about slow milk flow
It’s like having a slow day. Drink lots of water, relax as much as you can - name your top five things to do and do one of them while breastfeeding. Fit meditating into your day and ensure you’re eating an amazing array of foods that will make you feel great. You have to remember to look after yourself, not just everyone else! Click here for more info on self-care and great foods to eat while breastfeeding.
Your baby is constipated
When baby keeps pulling away while breastfeeding this can often be down to the pain they are feeling or the struggles they are having internally while feeding. They want the milk but it’s making them feel like they need the toilet and then when they find that they can’t go, they pull away. However, they still want the milk so they go back to the boob and repeat! You get the message. It’s a struggle for them too.
This is another case of no one doing anything wrong. Like when meditating and we are told to observe our thoughts and not blame ourselves for having loads of thoughts all the time, it’s the same here. Observe the process and don’t worry, offer some comforting words and rub your baby’s belly. Encourage them to go to the toilet. They will sort this out and everything will be ok.
My theory is that babies can understand us from the very beginning
So, tell them that everything is ok and they’re in a bit of pain but they’ll be fine once they’ve managed to go to the toilet. Soothe them and keep as comfortable as possible so you’re happy too.
Your baby is not feeling well
If baby keeps pulling away while breastfeeding they may have a blocked nose and be struggling to breathe. While breastfeeding can help to unblock your baby’s nose and regulate their breathing, it can still be the reason why your baby is pulling away.
Give your baby the space to work it out. Try natural olbas oil - you can pop a few drops onto a muslin cloth to help your baby breathe - and don’t doubt yourself or your milk.
Breastfeeding is designed to deal with everything. The more you trust your amazing body the better!! It is so easy to doubt or worry about breastfeeding when your baby isn’t feeling well but remember they will get through it and breastfeeding is boosting their immune system and giving them a super protection from loads of illnesses.
Conclusion
If your baby keeps pulling away while breastfeeding, you may feel worried or doubt yourself. Take a deep breath and give yourself an imaginary cuddle. You’re an amazing mama and doing all the right things. Lots of different obstacles may come up in breastfeeding but the most important thing to know is that breastfeeding is designed to give your baby the very best and work through absolutely everything.
The best thing you can do is observe without judgement, cuddle and kiss and talk to your baby (and yourself!) so there’s as much love around you as possible and you’re feeling as relaxed and happy as you can.
Remember colds, constipation or even varied milk flow never lasts long
Any changes in your norm are just little blips which can be sorted. In a few days everything will be back to normal. In terms of a more distracted baby, this is usually a permanent change as it is a result of your baby’s brain developing.
However, this is a chance for a new routine and could offer a rest for you too. Often, as your baby gets older you will find that you are busier, so it can be a welcome break to retreat to a more quiet place to breastfeed your baby away from stimulation and distraction.