I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve got in the cot with my baby because I didn’t know what to do. We’ve both cried ourselves to sleep cuddling each other.

I’ve been sure I cannot cope. I’ve asked myself - what am I doing wrong?

It’s tough.

You can’t help but blame yourself and feel massively overwhelmed when you have an overtired baby on your hands.

You are trying your absolute best but you feel like everything you do is wrong.

That’s how I felt.

And a large part of parenting is that – doing your best but always feeling like it’s not good enough. There’s a reason why mom guilt exists.

However, the most important thing to know is that you are doing an amazing job. And everything you are doing IS enough.

The good news is in terms of an overtired baby you are not doing anything wrong.

How to break the cycle of an overtired baby.

It is so easy for a baby to reach the point of overtired in the early stages of their life. The line is so thin in the first year. Overtiredness can be the result of a few minutes.

Tiredness builds up. Just as it does with adults. Tiredness accumulates after a few sleepless nights. And sometimes it makes it impossible to sleep when the chance finally comes.

It’s the same for babies.

Exhaustion causes the brain to release adrenaline, hence why a baby after hours of not sleeping can suddenly appear to have renewed energy and accelerate in their movements - rolling, crawling, walking. Adrenaline is coursing through their bodies.

And this is why when you put them down for their nap, they will scream. And not stop. Ever.

So, if you have an overtired baby on your hands, the first thing to do is to recognise that you did nothing wrong.

Every single parent knows how it feels to be at a total loss because their baby cannot be consoled.

The next thing to do is congratulate yourself because you have come to the right place!!

There are ways to break the cycle of overtiredness.

All you have to do is lower the adrenaline and cortisol in your baby’s body.

Adrenaline is the problem.

It’s making it impossible for your baby to sleep. This is why overtired babies will wake up so quickly after finally falling to sleeping because the adrenaline is acting like caffeine in their system. It’s impossible for them to sleep.

how to break the cycle of an overtired baby

So HOW do you lower the adrenaline of an overtired baby?

Sleep.

Ok. So obviously that’s the world’s most annoying answer because that’s why you’re here but stick with me.

Eventually you will get your overtired baby to sleep and they’ll probably wake up in five minutes. It will be a struggle and they’ll be lots of crying but they’ll fall asleep eventually.

Now, it doesn’t matter whether you were holding your baby to sleep or how long they slept for, all that matters is that they slept.

I want you to celebrate this short nap rather than be disappointed or frustrated.

Any amount of sleep, no matter how small, is a total saviour.

Count it as a full sized normal nap and begin the next part of the day as you normally would.

If your baby has gone to sleep and woken up twenty minutes later (or even five!) that’s fine.

Now to break the cycle of an overtired baby

1. Pretend your baby had a full nap and not a five minute one

2. Play and feed as you normally would in a familiar comfortable environment with no new people, busy activities, no screens and no overly bright or loud toys. Keep everything as relaxed as possible. This will keep stimulation at a minimum, which will in turn decrease adrenaline for your baby

3. Constantly keep your eye on your baby. You are looking out for sleep signs. As soon as you see more than two sleep signs you will take your baby straight to their bedroom to wind down for their next nap

Sleep Signs

1. Staring into space

2. Red under the eyes or around the eyebrows

3. Suddenly more fussy or clingy

4. Crying for no reason

5. Wanting to breastfeed or cuddle more

6. A sudden increase in movements

7. OR decrease in movements!

It does not matter if your baby woke up from their previous nap fifteen minutes ago.

It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t fit in with you schedule.

If you see the sleep signs then act immediately. You now have an opportunity to break the over-tiredness cycle.

NOTE: This extra nap will not affect your baby’s night time sleep negatively because sleep promotes sleep. Overtiredness will cause your baby to wake up in the night and early in the morning. NOT an extra nap.

Once you have broken the cycle of overtiredness you can return to your normal schedule but for now this is your upmost priority.

Click here to see different schedules according to your child’s age.

So, picture the scene. Your baby wakes up early from a nap even though you KNOW they’re exhausted. (This is a sign of overtiredness and can feel frustrating because of course, sleep is exactly what your baby needs right now).

Ok. No worries. Get your baby up. Don’t try to settle them back to sleep. They’re awake now. Play, have fun, feed but all the while keep an extremely close eye on your baby (not like you’re going to be off out to the park by yourself anyway) but you get it. An EXTRA close eye.

This allows you to immediately notice the sleep signals when they arrive.

You are effectively capturing the next window of opportunity for a nap.

You are ignoring any kind of schedule you have and being led completely by your baby.
This ensures a much easier nap time.
Because your baby is already overtired they will probably show sleep signals pretty much straight away (depends on the age of your baby but this could be anything from 20 minutes to two hours after waking up).
As soon as you spot two or more signs don’t doubt yourself, just get into the bedroom and start winding your baby down for their nap.

Click here for a full wind down routine.

Because you are breaking the cycle of overtiredness you’ll need to make an effort to be extra relaxed yourself and slow down with everything you do during the mini wind down routine. Your baby needs all the help they can get.

Try and forget everything that happened before. Stop beating yourself up about it and understand that overtiredness is such an easy thing to happen at this age. You have done nothing wrong.

Often when my baby is overtired or not feeling well, I don’t bother waiting outside the door for them to cry it out, I throw all the rules aside and rock them gently or hold them. Whatever they need to get to sleep.

The reason is - breaking the cycle of overtiredness is the most important thing you can do. The aim is to get your baby to sleep happily so they can sleep longer and wake up happier.

When they are happy, they are much more likely to fall asleep independently. For now adrenaline and cortisol have disrupted everything and the best thing you can do is get them to sleep quickly.

You’ll then be back on track and able to follow your sleep routine properly for the next nap.

For a mini sleep course with a detailed breakdown of sleep obstacles and their solutions according to your baby’s age click here.

The taster course is a free sample of the full Abundant Baby Sleep programme which grows with you from newborn to five years old and will ensure you never have major sleep confusion again.

You will be in control of sleep
You will be able to reply on 12 hours of sleep at night and 2 -3 hours during the day
However, it is not a quick fix. Some babies will sleep for six consecutive hours at a young age but when it comes to 12 hours most babies are not ready for this until ten months of age at the very earliest
No pressure is put on your baby to sleep through the night before they are ready. This is a baby led course

Everything becomes far easier when you have a routine to stick to with clearly mapped out age brackets of your baby’s sleep and what to expect with sleep schedules and ways to embrace each barrier according to your baby’s age.

Get a step ahead and keep sleep simple.

Get the Abundant Baby Sleep Course today.

To sum up:

How to break the cycle of an overtired baby

1. Get your baby to sleep – however you do this (holding them, breastfeeding them to sleep, rocking, cuddling, etc) It doesn’t matter! And it doesn’t matter if your baby only sleeps for five minutes. Any nap will do

2. Begin your normal routine. If you don’t have a routine click here to read this blog post on the play, feed, sleep routine

3. Watch out for sleep signs. As soon as you see two or more, put your baby down for their nap (it doesn’t matter if they’ve only been awake for 20 minutes)

4. Do a shortened wind down routine – into their nap clothes, sleeping bag and darkened room with a short story and possibly milk if you are still feeding. Click here for a full blog post on the importance of a wind down routine

5. Comfort your baby in their favourite way to make sure they fall asleep

6. You will return to a routine of making sure your baby falls asleep independently on the next nap – for now all rules are out of the window as you fully focus on soothing them

Your baby will now be able to catch up on their sleep. If they still seem overtired you can also put your baby to bed early.

Find out exactly how much sleep your baby needs according to their age.

When you are sure that they are back on track you can return to your normal routine.

A rested baby will nap for longer, go to sleep happily and be more likely to sleep through the night.

Sleeping should be something to look forward for the whole family, not a time to dread.

Trust me, you can do this.

How to Break The Cycle of an Overtired Baby