Baby Sleep Tips for 3 to 9 Months

5 Jul

As a mama you’ll know that 6 months is a huge. So much happens in 6 months. It’s the most important time for sleep. It’s the perfect age bracket to talk about creating a perfect wind down routine. And to talk about all the amazing sleep habits you are going to need to actually get some sleep!

I hope you’re at the three month stage now or even the eight month stage and you really need help because I know how that feels and I love to help.

I wish I’d found something like this when I was with my beautiful first baby and she would not sleep. I know how it is as a first time mama. It can be so challenging. I loved being a mom in that first year, loved every second BUT I could not believe the sleep. Everyone had said you’ll be so tired. I had no idea just how tired.

If you have got to the point where I was at say 6 months or 9 months where your baby is not sleeping very well. Perhaps, they’re always calling out for you. Or after a 20 minute nap, they’re calling out for you.

Guess what?

Your baby has developed a few skills that unbeknownst to you that are actually stopping your baby from sleeping.

Object permanence

Object permanence is when your baby knows that something exists even if they cannot see it.

Babies do not learn this skill until after the newborn phase. This is why so much changes at three months old.

That’s why your baby will sleep anywhere and everywhere and then past the age of three months a lot of parents come into a lot of problems. So, in the newborn phase you can do no wrong and you absolutely should be answering your baby at all times and obviously be always cuddling.

After three months, this is the perfect time to introduce sleep habits.

You will still be going to your baby whenever they need you but we’re going to take a bit more of a cautious approach. You don’t need to go running straight away, like I did, because it just doesn’t help.

Your baby, passed the age of three months, needs to learn the skill of going to sleep by themselves.

This does not mean crying themselves to sleep. They may cry at the start of a new sleep routine because they’re not used to it. But you absolutely are not looking for a lifetime of your baby crying themselves to sleep.

In fact, it’s the opposite.

You’re probably reading this blog post because your baby IS crying at nap and bed times.

I am here to stop those tears and make everything OK. I actually can’t believe that I went from sitting on the sofa at three in the morning wondering how on earth am I going to cope? My baby was waking up every 20 minutes, sometimes 45 minutes if I’m lucky . . .

To now, both of my babies are in the other room (OK they’re not babies now, they’re toddlers). One is three years old and one is five. They’re sleeping together. They went to sleep at 7 and they will not wake up until 7 a.m.

True. Crazy but true.

And you can do the exact same.

Sleep is essential, as we all know, for absolutely everything. In order for your baby to grow, to develop, to feel happy, to have less tantrums, to eat better, to respond better, they need sleep!

So, let’s begin. Up until this point you were in the newborn stage of life which is such a special time.

Newborn Phase

Newborn

During the first three months of your baby’s life, there are no rules. Except don’t wake your baby up during the day. You don’t worry about anything. The Abundant Baby extended video course will tell you everything you need to know about the newborn phase and how to create an excellent foundation now for 12 hours of sleep later (as soon as your baby is physically able to sleep through the night).

At three months everything changes.

You now need to become the gatekeeper of your baby’s sleep. Every single moment of your waking day should be spent observing your baby.

So, what exactly are you looking for?

You’re looking for the sleep signals.

From the moment your baby wake up in the morning to the next nap, you should be looking and looking to see if your baby tells you when to nap.

Now, I know you’ll be thinking . . . what?

My baby is not going to tell me. That’s the whole problem. But, they actually will. You just have to know what you’re looking for and get used to constantly observing them.

The more you get used to looking for theses sleep signs, the better your life will become.

Sleep will become very very easy.

It is overwhelming at first. I had no idea at the beginning and I didn’t like that. I didn’t like the idea I could be getting it wrong.

But, trust me. You can do this. I want you to use your instinct. Look at the sleep signals below for sure. But, it’s also important that you know that you’re the best person to spot your baby’s sleep signals. You know your baby the best. Overtime, even just a few days or weeks, you will learn the specific sleep signals for your baby because they are different for every single baby.

Sleep Signals

Red eyes/eyebrows
Staring into space
Decreased/increased movements
Clingy/fussy

How can it be an increase and decrease in movements?!

This sleep signal can sound confusing but ultimately it’s just a change in what you’re used to so if your baby suddenly starts moving around loads or if they stop and seem really sleepy, then both of those are signs. It’s a change in what your baby’s been doing before.

You will notice that there is no yawning mentioned!

The reason why you will not find yawing on the list is because a yawn is too far. A yawn means your baby is now entering the overtired stage. This is when you put your baby down for a nap and they cry and you have no idea. You think - What am I doing wrong? I’ve done everything right.

Overtiredness is the reason

Overtiredness

At 3 - 9 months, there’s a very short window of happy baby naps where you’ve managed to see the sleep signals and you’ve managed to get your baby straight up to bed. That’s what the perfect sleep window is.

Sleep window - A short space of time where your baby is at the exact level of tiredness to fall asleep.

But, if you were perhaps busy and you weren’t looking, you’ve missed the sleep window and you’ve actually taken your baby up to nap when they’re overtired.

The more often you observe your baby’s sleep signals, the easier it will be to find their perfect sleep window.

Overtired babies is a whole other issue! Click here to find out what to do.

The most important thing to know with an overtired baby is not to blame yourself. Overtiredness happens so easily at this age. And especially when you’re learning to observe the sleep signs, it’s essential that you’re not tough on yourself. Sometimes your baby will become overtired and that’s all part of the learning process.

The more and more you get used to looking for sleep signs, the less and less that state of overtiredness will occur because you will know when your baby is tired.

How to achieve the perfect nap

Perfect Nap

Watch out for the sleep signals
Your baby will show two or more from the above list
This is when you go straight up to bed with you baby. Don’t doubt yourself
And begin the wind down routine

The ideal wind down routine is like your staple for life. It’s the LBD of the baby world. You will always need it.

You will spend both money and time when getting the ideal wind routine set up but it couldn’t be MORE worth it. You will have the ideal wind down routine forever. It will change every aspect of your baby’s sleep and your life.

Click here to find out exactly what baby products you really need for the wind down routine to save you time and money.

Ideal Wind Down Routine

Wind Down Routine

Take your baby up to their bedroom for their nap
Enter the darkened room (it will be dark because you have put a black out blind on the window)
Pop the night light on (should be dimmed light - just enough to see)
Make sure your baby is comfortable - with a fresh nappy and babygro
Put your baby into their baby sleeping bag and feed them
To ensure your baby doesn’t fall asleep while feeding, simply observe the suction on the bottle or nipple and pull away gentle when it lessens
Read a bedtime book (even at a young age this is important as it separates feeding from sleep)
Cuddle your baby and put them down in their cot
Say the same sleepy time words every time. For example, ‘It’s sleepy time now. I love you’.
Put the sleepy music on and leave the room, leaving your baby to process their day so far before falling asleep

What do you do if your baby cries?

Crying Solutions

Wait outside the room for thirty seconds
Go back in, keeping your time in the room brief but allowing time to soothe your baby
Keep talking and noise from you to a minimum - the only thing you can do is whisper the night time words
Wait outside the room again - this time for 45 seconds
Keep lengthening the time outside the room

Get the full extended Abundant Baby sleep course for exact timings and worksheets. This process is possible when you stick to it. And remember you’re not teaching your baby to cry themselves to sleep. They are crying because it’s new and they don’t know what is going on.

So, the best thing you can do is keep to your new plan once you have introduced it.

Changing again will cause more confusion. So, stick to the new routine, be as soothing and as relaxed as possible.

You are simply teaching a new way of falling asleep to your baby while making sure they know you are just outside the room and everything is fine.

Give it two weeks.

Some babies take a lot less, some babies take the whole time. Be prepared to stick to this because in the long run it’s worth it. You will have 2 -3 hours during the day of naps and 12 hours at night. AND it will be a happy process. Nap and bed time will be a peaceful, beautiful time not a stressful, sad time.

A wind down is so important because your baby needs to relax and process their day so far before sleeping.

Your baby will get a deeper, more restorative sleep if they’re able to wind down before each nap and bedtime.

Remember, you’re creating a habit of a lifetime. Sleep routines add comfort and security to a baby’s life. When your baby becomes a toddler, even more so. And wherever you go in the world, if you on holiday, you will always have this sleep routine.

Bedtime Wind Down Routine

Bathe your baby
Get your baby ready for bed
Pop them into their sleeping bag
Feed your baby
Read a bedtime book
Cuddle them and put them down in their cot
Say the night time words and leave the room
Wait outside the room, following the same timings as before

The bedtime routine is the exact same as the nap routine. It’s just longer.

Wind down timings

Timings

Nap time: 5 - 15 minutes

Bed time: 30 - 45 minutes

Summary

During 3 - 9 months you will be constantly observing your baby, looking for sleep signals. As soon as your baby shows two or more sleep signs, you will wind them down, ready for their nap. Put aside two weeks (it might take three days) to focus completely on sleep.

At some point in the near future your baby will fall asleep happily at both nap time and bedtime EVERY time. It might take three days, it might take two weeks, but it will happen. You’ll do the whole wind down routine as normal but you won’t have to wait outside.

You’ll just pop your baby down in their cot and you’ll leave and they’ll be happy. And they’ll be asleep.

You will then have up to three hours, depending on which nap it is, to rest and relax and do whatever you want.

The most important thing to do is to be consistent. Once you have made the decision to absolutely prioritise you and your baby’s sleep above everything else, just stick to it. You are doing amazing. It’s all going to go so well, I promise! Put aside two weeks and go for it.

3 - 9 months is a big age bracket but that whole time is such an excellent time to start excellent sleep habits.

Good luck and if you need any extra help, get a free taster of the Abundant Baby sleep course today.

Matilda Swinney